Can Your Actions Affect Others?

Can Your Actions Affect Others?

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder.

Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden.

As they walked, Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects, and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.

They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home.

They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, and then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years.

Finally the long-awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.

Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill.

"You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more, you saved my life."

Practice of Compassion

Practice of Compassion

By

Noorudin.S.Bhamani

Once upon a time a deer lived in a lush deep forest. It was  very beautiful with golden fur that sparkled like multi-colored gems, eyes as blue as sapphires, and even horns and hooves shone with the cluster of precious stone.

One day the dear heard the cries of a man being carried away in the river with a strong flow. The deer responded by entering the strong flow and allowed the exhausted man to climb on his back. He carried the man to the safety of the bank and warmed him with his fur.

The man was beside the deer until he was totally recovered, and with gratitude and wonder at the marvelous deer. He took leave to go home. One night he saw the deer in his dream, "No one has ever done anything for me such as you have done," he said. "My life is yours. What can I do to repay you?” To this the deer replied, "All I ask is a promise that you will not tell other humans about me. If men knew of my existence, they would come to hunt me."

At that time, in that elite section of the city, there was a wealthy lady who saw extraordinary things in her dreams that eventually became real. One night she dreamed of a brilliant golden deer that sparkled like jewels & lived in the deepest of the jungle.

The wealthy lady awoke and called her personal manager to tell him of this amazing dream, and she asked him to go and find the deer and bring it to her. The personal manager trusted his employers visions, agreed to find the deer. He ran an advertisement on TV to all of the hunters to look for the shining, golden deer spotted with many colors. Whoever could bring the deer to the wealthy lady would receive a huge bungalow and 5 million cash in prize money.

The man a wood cutter by profession, who had been rescued by the deer, saw the advertisement, and was greatly troubled. He was still grateful to the deer, but he was also very poor, and he imagined himself struggling with poverty for the rest of his life, cutting wood. Now a life of prosperity was in his grasp! All he had to do was break his promise to the deer. He was pushed with desire and pulled by gratitude. Eventually he told himself that as a wealthy man he could do the world a lot of good to make up for breaking his promise. He went to the personal manager of the wealthy lady and offered to take him to the deer.

The personal manager was delighted, and he gathered a large group of expert hunters and set out to find the deer. The rescued man guided the followers over rivers and through forests, and they eventually came to where the unsuspecting deer was grazing."Here he is, Sir," the man said. The personal manager had seen the deer, which sparkled in the sun like a heap of jewels and was overcome with desire to obtain this beautiful deer for his wealthy employer, and he fitted an arrow to his bow.

Before pulling the string of his bow, the personal manager asked" fortunate one! Please explain how you found him here? The man, now filled with guilt, looked down at the ground and told the whole story. The personal manager grew angry, and turned the direction of his arrow towards the wood cutter. "Why should this lowest of men live any longer?" he roared. It is better to take a log out of a flood than to save an ungrateful person from it. Take him in our custody, we will deal with him later, let the deer go and let us all return to the camp".

That night the deer came in the dream of the personal manager, "Stop, Sir," he said. "Do not strike the one who is already stricken, His only fault is his poverty and selfishness in deeds, I rescued this man from danger, and now he brings danger to me. The personal manager promised to give the man the rich reward he had been promised by the wealthy lady.

"I believe all the worldly moral laws can be summed this way: Compassion to all human beings. The practice of compassion to all human beings should cause humans to regard all human beings as their own families. If a person regards all human beings as his own family, how can he even think of harming them? The whole of righteousness is contained in compassion. Keep this in mind and practice compassion to fellow human beings as if they were your sons and daughters, and your reign will be glorified."

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What is fear? Part -1

What is fear?

According to Buddhism, there is unhealthy fear and healthy fear. For example, when we are afraid of something that cannot actually harm us - such as spiders - or something we can do nothing to avoid - such as old age or being struck down with smallpox or being run over by a truck - then our fear is unhealthy, for it serves only to make us unhappy and paralyses our will. On the other hand, when someone gives up smoking because they are afraid of developing lung cancer, this is a healthy fear because the danger is real and there are constructive steps they can take to avoid it.

We have many fears-fear of terrorism, fear of death, fear of being separated from people we love, fear of losing control, fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of losing our job, the list is never-ending! Many of our present fears are rooted in what Buddha identified as "delusions" - distorted ways of looking at ourselves and the world around us. If we learn to control our mind, and reduce and eventually eliminate these delusions, the source of all our fear-healthy and unhealthy-is eradicated.

However, right now we need the healthy fear that arises from taking stock of our present situation so that we can resolve to do something about it. For example, there is no point in a smoker being scared of dying of lung cancer unless there is something that he or she can or will do about it, i.e. stop smoking. If a smoker has a sufficient fear of dying of lung cancer, he or she will take steps to kick the habit. If he prefers to ignore the danger of lung cancer, he will continue to create the causes of future suffering, living in denial and effectively giving up control.

Just a smoker is vulnerable to lung cancer due to cigarettes, it is true that at the moment we are vulnerable to danger and harm, we are vulnerable to ageing, sickness, and eventually death, all due to our being trapped in sansara-the state of uncontrolled existence that is a reflection of our own uncontrolled minds. We are vulnerable to all the mental and physical pain that arises from an uncontrolled mind-such as the pains that come from the delusions of attachment, anger, and ignorance. We can choose to live in denial of this and thereby give up what control we have, or we can choose to recognize this vulnerability, recognize that we are in danger, and then find a way to avert the danger by removing the actual causes of all fear (the equivalent of the cigarettes)-the delusions and negative, unskillful actions motivated by those delusions. In this way we gain control, and if we are in control we have no cause for fear.

A balanced fear of our delusions and the suffering to which they inevitably give rise is therefore healthy because it serves to motivate constructive action to avoid a real danger. We only need fear as an impetus until we have removed the causes of our vulnerability through finding spiritual, inner refuge and gradually training the mind. Once we have done this, we are fearless because we no longer have anything that can harm us, like a Foe Destroyer (someone who has attained liberation, defeated the foe of the delusions) or a Buddha (a fully enlightened being).

All Buddha's teachings are methods to overcome the delusions, the source of all fears. For an introduction to these teachings, see Transform Your Life.

Recipe of Life (2)

Be Good to Yourself

Trust yourself

You know what you want and need.

Put yourself first.

You can't be anything for anybody else 

unless you take care of yourself.

Let your feelings be known.
They are important.

Express your opinions.
It's good to hear yourself talk.

Value your thinking.
You do it well.

Take the time and space you need.
Even if other people are wanting something from you.

When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it.
Even if you can't have it, it's ok to need.

When you are scared, let someone know.
Isolating yourself when you're scared makes it worse.

When you feel like running away,

let yourself feel the scare.
Think about what you fear will happen 
and decide what you need to do.
When you're angry, let yourself feel the anger.

Decide what you want to do. Just feel it, express it, or take some action.

When you're sad, think about what would be comforting.

When you're hurt, tell the person who hurt you.
Keeping it inside makes it grow.

When you have work to do and you don't want to do it,
Decide what really needs to be done and what can wait.

When you want somethingfrom someone else, ask.
You'll be okay if they say no.
Asking is being true to yourself.

When you need help, ask.
Trust people to say no if they don't want to give.

When people turn you down,
It usually has to do with them, and not with you.
Ask someone else for what you need.

When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you.
Fantasize what it would be like to be with each of them.
Decide if you want to make that happen.

When you feel anxious, let yourself know that in your head.
You've moved into the future to something scary
And your body has gotten up the energy for it.

Come back to the present.

When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead.
Expressing your feeling is not a commitment

When someone yells at you, physically support yourself
By relaxing into your chair or putting your feet firmly on the floor.
Remember to breathe.
Think about the message they are trying to get across to you.

When you're harassing yourself, stop.
You do it when you need something.
Figure out what you need and get it.

When everything seems wrong,
You are overwhelmed and need some comforting.
Ask for it.
Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.

When you want to talk to someone new and are scared, breathe.
Don't start rehearsing, just plunge in.
If it doesn't go well, you can stop.
If you're doing something you don't like to do,(such as smoking or overeating), Stop.
Think about what you really want.

If you're stuck and can't think clearly, talk out loud to someone.

When you can't think straight,
Stop thinking. Feel.

When you're in need of love, reach out.
There are people who love you.

When you're confused, it's usually because you think you should
Do one thing and you want to do another.
Dialogue with yourself or present both sides to a friend.

When you feel harried, slow down.
Deliberately slow your breathing, your speech, and your movements.

When you have tears, cry.
When you feel like crying and it's not a safe place to cry,
Acknowledge your pain and promise yourself a good cry later.
Keep your promise.

When everything seems gray, look for color.

If one of these rules seems wrong for you, talk about it with someone.
Then, rewrite it so it fits you.
Remember, Be Good To Yourself!

Till what extend Pakistanis will be Blamed

Health is Wealth (1)

Health - Very Very Important Tips

According to a study, having eggs for breakfast is good for losing weight, as it keeps people satiated for a longer time. BT eggsplores...

Lisa Antao 

 Barring vegetarians, who doesn't love having eggs for breakfast? Whether they're sunny side-up, scrambled, in the form of omelette or our good ol' anda bhurji. Some of us egg lovers even revelled in the slogan 'Sunday ho ya Monday, roz khao ande'. However, in recent times, eggs have gained notoriety owing to their cholesterol content. As a result, health-conscious people, especially celebs, only consume egg whites, and some have even gone to the extent of banishing eggs completely. But now, a study conducted in the UK says eggs are the best way to cut the flab. That's because eggs can keep people fuller for a longer duration of time, compared to the other food options consumed for breakfast. And this, in turn, helps people who are desperate to munch on snacks such as biscuits, chips and other junk food. BT asked experts in the city, if the study holds true. 
KEEPS YOU FULLER Anything that contains high protein gives a stomach-filling effect. Eating protein-rich eggs for breakfast reduces hunger and decreases calorie consumption throughout the day. A study has claimed that the leucine that is found in eggs plays a unique role in the regulation of muscle protein synthesis and Insulin signalling. So, the introduction of food 
    which 
    is rich in protein — for example, eggs — in the diet, while reducing the consumption of complex carbohydrates in the body, also helps to burn the body fat. This, in turn, helps in controlling your hunger and food cravings, explains consulting dietician Dr Sunita Dube. Egg whites, she says, are low in calories and helps in losing weight. 
    Agrees consultant nutritionist Niti Desai. She says eggs contain protein and fat, which give the feeling of a full stomach for a much longer time. Also, eggs have definite calories — so, the caloric intake at breakfast is more or less fixed and restricted. On the other hand, the quantity of other popular breakfast options such as upma/poha can range from half katori to two katoris. All these factors make eggs an excellent breakfast option. 
WHAT ABOUT CHOLESTEROL? Health consultant Dr Parul R. Sheth says, "An egg contains about 212 mg of cholesterol, all of which is present in the yolk. And the recommended amount of cholesterol is about 300 mg per day. It is true, therefore, that eating too many eggs can increase your cholesterol level. But studies have pointed out that eating four or fewer egg yolks each week does not increase your risk of heart disease." She adds, "To be on the safer side, you can eat only the egg whites; these have no cholesterol." 
    DON'T AVOID THEM 
    COMPLETELY Egg yolks contain a hefty dose of cholesterol compared to egg whites. However, they are also a source of unsaturated fat and protein, as well as vitamins and minerals. And so, you should not avoid them completely. Consume them occasionally because they also contain food sources of natural vitamin D. Egg yolks contain 23 per cent of your daily choline recommendations and meets 6 per cent of your daily folate needs. Half of the protein found in egg yolks have an orange colour because of plant pigments Lutein and Zeaxanthin. Both these pigments support eye and muscle health and helps in easy absorption, opines Dr Dube. 
HOW MUCH TO HAVE? Dr Sheth says, "You can eat as many egg whites as you wish since they contain almost no fat and cholesterol. Boiled, scrambled, poached or omelettes — without butter — in moderation (one egg with yolk per day) is fine." Your age, sex, body weight, and level of physical activity determine your calorie intake. A normal adult with a sedentary lifestyle should not consume more than four to five eggs a week, advises Dr Dube.

DID YOU KNOW? Eating protein-rich eggs for breakfast reduces hunger and decreases calorie consumption throughout the day

Recipe of Life (1)

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